Monday, February 27, 2012

I Am A Christian.... But Some People Call Me a Mormon

I do not condemned other faiths.  I believe that everyone must find their own way to God. The longer I live and the more people I meet, the more convinced I am that there is more than one way to God.  There is an abundant of good people in the world - those who profess Christ as a Savior and those who do not.  It seems it is too much to ask that we can live in peace with other religions, but I will never buy into the judgement people pass on about other religions, just as I hope that someone who knows me and knows that I am a "Mormon" will never condemn me for what I believe.

Since "Mormon's" have been in the news a lot lately, I am writing this post to share my own testimony of what I believe and how I feel about my religion.  (Please feel free to pass on this post to others who may wonder about our religion.  Also, the link to the church's website is on the top right corner.)


I belong to The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints!  We have a book called the Book of Mormon - which is why people who belong to the church were originally called "Mormons".  However, the name of our church is the church of Jesus Christ.  As the Book of Mormon clearly states in 2 Nephi 25:26 "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."


We know that the Book of Mormon is divine text - just as the Bible - that teaches us about our Savior and Redeemer.  This is the reason why we read it, believe it, and use it to better our own knowledge of Christ, who atoned for our sins.  We know it is only through this sacrifice that we can even hope to live with God again after we have experienced our tests in this life and have moved on to the next one.

I have always known this.  I had wonderful parents who taught me about our Savior and I knew that He loved me and that I needed Him.  I remember being baptized at the age of 8 into this church.  I remember talking to my parents about why I wanted to be baptized.  I knew it was because I wanted to follow Christ.  I wanted to follow Christ's example and I wanted Him to know that I was committed to living a life being an example of His light and love.  I took that commitment very seriously - perhaps too much so at times, but I knew what I was committing to.

I know I am one of the few who has been blessed to know of the existence of a Savior from an early age.  I remember being 5 or 6 years old and having my brother ask me if I believed all this stuff we were learning at church.  His question surprised me - I had never questioned any of it.  And even after he asked me and the idea of questioning the existence of a God was purposed to me, I knew that what I had learned in church was true and I told him so.  For me the knowledge of Christ was just as natural for me to believe as it is for me to breathe.  It's not something I had to think about, I just knew it was right.

When I was 11 years old I was struggling with some things and seriously considered taking my own life.  The only thing that helped me to hold on to this life was knowing that I would have to meet my God face to face and explain to Him why I took my life.  I couldn't handle the thought of looking Him in the face and acknowledging such an awful thing.

When I was a teen, it comforted me to read the scriptures and know that Christ had suffered for me, that He knew me and that He already knew I would make mistakes and He loved me anyway.  His tender love and mercy were real to me.  So real that I wrote a poem to express how I felt about Him and the love I feel from Him.  (See post below this one.)

As an adult, I find comfort in knowing that I can repent because of Him.  I guess as an adult I realize more and more how many mistakes I make and how much help I really need.

My life has always revolved around my knowledge of Jesus and His sacrifice for me and for all of us.  And, regardless of what other people think about me or about my beliefs, I know that I am a Christian.  I know that Christ lives, that He came to earth in the flesh, lived a mortal life and suffered for our sins so that there would be hope for us to return to our heavenly home.  I know that, by turning to Him, we can feel peace in this world of turmoil and trouble, and through faith and repentance, we can return to His loving presence again.

The video below is my favorite hymn, which I insisted be sung at my baptism, it says it's "Into the Light", but really it is called, "I Stand all Amazed".



My "Poem" about Christ

Written in 1995.  This is not a rhyming poem, but I didn't know what else to call it, really.

Comely in looks,
Yet strong with many years of hard, physical labor.
His work requires someone with endurance and 
     Patience in every tiny detail
Whether his task be a rocking horse
     or putting up the walls of a house.

He holds his head high
     and he's not afraid to look you in the eye.
One can tell that he is sure of himself.
His very being impresses the image 
     of power on my mind.
His power is gentle-
     born of His love for me.

In His eyes all are equal.
     No one has to pass judgement.
He accepts anyone who will give up 
     their sins and come to Him.

Not once does He think of Himself
     or what others will give in return.
He wants everyone to feel of His love,
     To find comfort in the warmth of His touch.
He wants to help us become the best we can be.
     He knows that each one of us is 
Unique and has a special gift to share.

To be in His very presence
     Can calm a troubled heart.
At the touch of His gentle hands
      A child lives.
At the sound of His voice
     The stormy sea is calmed.

People gather around Him-
     Longing to hear what He has to say,
          Wanting His acceptance.

He leads the way as He reaches out
     to those outside of the circle of followers.
He opens a door and lets them 
     Come unto Him.
He teaches of love, peace,
     Understanding, compassion, and mercy.

There is wisdom, knowledge and light in His eyes.
As He speaks not one person can doubt
     that He knows His mission in life,
And the purpose of man on this earth.

*       *       *       *         *       *      *     *      *    *

I pushed my way through the crowd-
     Wanting with all of my heart to
Be close enough to touch Him.

Soon I was before Him
     and my eyes met His.
He seemed to be searching my soul...
     Asking my heart if it believed?

Do I have the faith that He can give me
     the strength I need to make it through this life?
Do I believe His teachings?
     Will I follow Him?

     The Creator of all,
Man's Savior and Redeemer,
     Him who rules a kingdom above,
The Judge of all who will enter heaven-
     With the humility of a beggar
He asks me to accept Him and His message.

Can I doubt His power?
     Or the love that He has for me?

Tears came to my eyes as I answered his unasked question:
     "Yes, Lord.  I believe and willingly will I follow Thee."

How could I deny Him?
     Such love, devotion and compassion!
A love like that I've never known.
     I trust Him and know that He will not lead me astray.

Through my tears and sorrowing heart,
     I can hear His soft voice
beckoning me to look beyond my trouble,
     Helping me to rise up out of despair.

In the mist of confusion and
     the darkness surrounding me,
Slowly pressing me to my knees with it's weight-
     I know that only my faith 
          can bring His healing touch.

As I call out to Him-
     Through the darkness His hand will come to help me up.
His grip is firm, comforting and gentle.
     He will lead me,
           Gently pulling me back into the light.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Take 2! (Or is it 100?)

I've always loved the Cosby show - it's so down to earth and the parents always know what to do with/for their kids.  Well, I was told once that the Cosby Show had a child psychologist on set to go over the scripts and in this way they made sure that the way the "parents" dealt with the "kids" was appropriate....

After becoming a parent there have been a few times when I have wished I had one of those on my "set" - this play that I call my life!  How great it would be if I could take a break, step back, have my "performance" evaluated and then go back and perform my part until I got it just right!  Especially with my kids!  There are so many times when I wish I knew the right thing to do.

Yesterday was one of those days!  A girlfriend and I had already planned to hang out yesterday morning - a break I desperately needed - and as I'm getting ready to go, Tressa insists that she's coming with me.  Of course, I gently tell her no, but she doesn't stop asking!  And the more I tell her no, the more she persists until it becomes a huge power struggle.  She's screaming and crying as I'm pushing her back in the door telling her she has to stay.  While inside my heart is breaking and I'm asking myself if this time out for Mom is really worth the struggle.  I'm asking myself that the whole drive to see my friend and even on the way home.  Until I realize that "Yes, I needed that break!"  I came home and she had calmed down, but Jessie told me last night that she cried a long time after I left, returning to the window at intervals to see if I had returned yet.  (It probably didn't help that I kept forgetting things and had to come back into the house several times and push her away every time!)

It was obvious that my heart still felt guilty because I had a dream this morning that she got into trouble for acting up at church, I put her on a chair and went to find the next sister that was acting up - when I got back I couldn't find her.  In my dream, all I could think about was that she had run away because I was so mean.  I couldn't find her - no one could.  And I woke up in the middle of my break down as I realized it was my fault she had run away from me.

Yup, that's how my day started!  Needless to say, when Tressa awoke this morning I spent some time talking to her about how hard it is to be a Mom sometimes and how I need breaks, but that I will always come back to her.  I told her I loved her.

I don't know if I "got it right" this time, but I know all I can do is just keep trying.

 Lights. Camera.  Action.  Take 100!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Simple Prayers

People fill my mind constantly.  People I know and people I've only heard about through others.  Sometimes they add weight to the load I'm already carrying and sometimes they uplift.  I don't know if this is because I'm overly sensitive, or if this is normal for everyone, but when I was younger it really used to affect me.  I never quite knew what to do with all of those emotions and I know I was probably really intense! But as I've grown older, I've had experiences that have taught me how to deal with these intense emotions from/for other people.

Sometimes I have to let people go.  Emotionally and physically, I have to walk away from people.  Although that's not my first choice.  Mostly what I've learned to do is to allow myself to feel everything and then I ask myself.  Is there anything I can do?  If the answer is yes, then I do it!  If the answer is no, then I simply take a moment to pray for that person.

People pop into my head all day and not necessarily at convenient times.  Do I all of a sudden fall on my knees and pray out loud?  No.  I simply clear my mind of all other thoughts and take a moment to think of that person and their situation and send it heavenward.  All it takes is a minute.  I trust that God knows them and is in charge of their life, but I plead in their behalf for just a moment and then I move on.  Some may say that my prayer is not much and may not do much for that person's situation, but I believe that thoughts are powerful and that, if you involve God in those thoughts, it is the most powerful of all!  So when people pop into my head I take a moment to acknowledge them, give them a place in my heart, and then I can move forward with my own life.