I Am African AND American

Playing games with friends and Daddy!

I have always loved people - and been fascinated and pulled towards people of other cultures especially.  When I was in first grade I remember learning about the Hopi Indians.  And about the cruelties of white man to the American Indians.  I came home and asked my Mother how people could be so mean.  As my Mom tried to explain, I just couldn't get over the unfairness of it all.  I cried.  (Can you imagine?  My poor Mother.)

From then on I wanted to be someone else - I went through a phase where I begged my Mom to let me die my hair black (yes, that was when I was 6) - I wanted to be an Indian!  I'm sure my Mom tried to tell me how wonderful I was just as I was, but I wouldn't hear it.  Well, thankfully I am no longer wishing to be something I'm not, but instead I know I am blessed to be me.

When I was called to go on a mission to preach the gospel in the Netherlands I was overjoyed at a chance to see more of the world and meet people from a different culture!  Little did I know that my life would drastically change course while there.  The people who loved to speak to us and who would readily hear our message were from Africa.  I had pictured meeting new people in the Netherlands, but didn't know that they would be African.  Needless to say I completely fell in love with them all!  I loved how welcoming they were, how they loved the Lord and how easily they accepted and loved other people.  I was fascinated by their stories and inspired by their eagerness to better their lives for them and for their children.  I met so many people from so many cultures, but the African people I met had a special place in my heart.

When I knew I was returning home, I was dismayed to think of all the cultures I would leave behind, and I promised myself I would somehow keep in touch with the cultures I had learned to love and respect.  I joined an African club on campus and that's where I met my husband.

I like to say that I joined the African club for life!  Only...  Of course, it's not a club, it's my life!  Half of my heart has become African.  My language, food, activities, beliefs, friends and my family; everything I now do and have in my life is greatly influenced by African culture!  And I wouldn't have it any other way!  Don't get me wrong, it's not always easy.  Combining cultures can be difficult.  We think differently, we see things from different perspectives and sometimes have a hard time understanding each other.  And every time someone asks me if my children are adopted or I see my husband's frustration when people treat him differently, or I hear what people say about our President - who's father is African and mother is white American - I feel a sinking in my heart.  But I feel so blessed to have another culture in my life, to know and understand that the world is so much bigger than one language, one people, or one country.  Even though my skin is white, my native tongue is English, and I was raised in America - I am African AND American.  And I hope that my children will learn to love their heritage from both sides of their family - I hope that whatever struggles they may have will make them stronger and that they will learn to stand up proudly and say that they too are African AND American!

I See You

When I saw the movie Avatar, I was enthralled by the song at the end, I See You.  I immediately came home and found it online.  Since that day, it comes into my mind off and on.  Well, today is one of those days.  I decided to do a little research to find out more about what it could possibly mean.  As I looked around I found a blog written by Jay Michaelson.  (He is an author of a book entilted, Everything is God, and has a Ph.D.)  He explains that the phrase from the movie, "I see you" is a "direct translation of the Sanskrist Namaste", which means, "the God in me sees the God in you."  Or in other words, "I see Myself in your eyes."  (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jay-michaelson/the-meaning-of-avatar-eve_b_400912.html)

What beautiful imagery!  

All of a sudden my mind is far from the scenes of Avatar, and instead, pictures the one Being who can clearly see us as we are.  Our God, whose love enlightens and inspires us to sacrifice our life to bask in His glow; whose words and holy spirit bring comfort and breathe hope into our lives.  One day He will lead us home to a paradise!  Until we can bask in His full glory, there are people who may come our way, people who have touched our lives for good.  These people have seen us as we are and loved us anyway.  This love can only come from one pure source, from our God who is the epitome of love and light!  I have known people like this, and I feel they have truly seen the God in me and I have seen the Godliness in them. 

Song and words below:

I see you

I see you

Walking through a dream, I see you

My light in darkness, breathing hope of new life

Now I live through you and you through me

      Enchanting

I pray in my heart that this dream never ends

I see me through your eyes

Breathing new life, flying high

Your love shines the way into paradise

So I offer my life as a sacrifice

I live through your love

You teach me how to see all that's beautiful

My senses touch a world I never pictured

Now I give my hope to you, 

      I surrender

I pray in my heart that this world never ends

I see me through your eyes

Breathing new life, flying high

Your love shines the way into paradise

So I offer my life, I offer my love, for you

When my heart was never open

(And my spirit never free)

To the world that you have shown me

But my eyes could not envision

All the colors of love and of life evermore

Evermore

(I see me through your eyes)

I see me through your eyes

(Living new life flying high)

Flying high

Your love shines the way into paradise

So I offer my life as a sacrifice

I live through your love

I live through your life

I see you

I see you

What kind of Christian am I?

Every Sunday I take the 1300 East exit off of I-15, and every Sunday I see a homeless person - or at least someone in need - on all 3 off ramps coming into town.  Every Sunday I wonder how terrible my situation would have to be for me to stand on the corner of a street holding a sign asking for help.  This would take a lot, since I'm such a prideful person.  And I believe that most of us are.  We are born with a desire to do for ourselves, just look at any child ages 18 months and up - that's when we start fighting for the right to be independent and to make our own choices.  

Well, today as I passed all 3 men, I found myself wondering...  "How did they get on the street?  Are they homeless, or just without a job? I wonder what it is that they need?  What could I offer them?  How could I approach them and offer assistance without being degrading and still being on guard - in case they were dangerous somehow?"  With all these questions playing over and over, but also being overwhelmingly grateful that I'm not the one on the corner, the thought popped into my head, "What kind of a Christian are you?  There must be something you can do!"  And then I started to think about what I would want if I was homeless, standing in the cold with a sign.  Perhaps a cup of something warm to drink and something to eat?  Maybe a sandwich - even something so simple would be gratefully accepted by me, if I was starving!  I wonder, could I do something so simple?  And would it be gratefully accepted?

Slowly, my mind started to change focus as I realized I could at least try, that I could trust my instincts and do better to serve the people around me.  I realized that I wanted to be the kind of Christian that follows the Savior's example and I knew in that moment that I probably wouldn't be able to drive by again without that thought nagging me, constantly in the back of my mind, until the next week when I drive by again.  "What kind of Christian are you?"